What can I do for you, Mam?

so broken and jaded I don't know what to do. have not been in the best of moods lately and everyone around me is certainly not helping. I go to work with a smile plastered to my face, trying to be happy, attempting to appear all smiley and feeling good. I am so sick of this. why did I let myself into this. it feels as if I am living for another individual and not for myself. honestly, I find all of these such a joke. why bother right. why try so hard when the other party does not care. right now, I just need someone to know how I feel but it is so hard for me to put it into words. you know how it feels to walk around in someone's skin and truly feel what they feel?

sick and tired of all these shit. this is why I don't like to be here and I'd rather be out there pretending that life is beautiful. I finally have my off tomorrow. a day which I can finally roll around on the grass and just lie there, gazing up to the sky and wishing you were here with me.

right now, I just wish for someone to have some good old English breakfast with me, accompanied with a cup of hot tea. god please help me.